Thursday, June 23, 2005

probably not in a very good mood now.. things just started flowing in when its night time.. oh darn it ...

should i even talk about love? do i know what is love? and do i know how to love someone? does loving someone means to fight for him no matter what happens, even if i know theres not a big chance, or does it mean letting him go and let him find another girl who he loves?
I can never decide between those two. its driving me mad. but everyone says to give up, so do i listen to others' words? or do i follow my guts? Can this one-sided love ever be returned? or can an old-love return to what its like before? but no one can answer my question, all i can do is just to wait, wait and wait and see what's going to happen next.

Is he the guy i will marry ? dont get freaked off u guys, i know how weird i can be when im only 17 and im thinking of marriage... hahaha... but yeh, dev knows since 16 i have been dreaming about it. am i the only girl who thinks of marrying a guy now?? and its not any guy, its him.
why must it be him? why can't it be another guy who's easier?
I think i really must try to change my set of thinking... !!! to any other girls out there, study and flings. yeh, flings. it doesnt sound good and i don't like it. but isnt it what most people out there are out too? or maybe even i have flings but i just didnt realised it. why do i think like my 88 year old grandma?!

On the other hand im so childish, im a kid oh june dumbass !! i sleep like no body's business, i shop like theres no tomorrow, i only eat food i like and who cares about the others? , spend money like its dropped from the sky when i know its not !! whats happening to my life? i must'snt be like that !! but over da years i learnt to appreciate others for what they did for me, i learnt to find time for my family, get together with good friends and dont judge others by looks. its a pretty big achievement for me but i hope i can do better than this.
People dont usually get what they want in life, so if u get something u treasure.... u know u're already the lucky ones............